Girls don't flirt with me in real life. Not like this one was. It was super cute and actually going somewhere, but before it actually could... The universe stepped in and made sure it could never be.
I hired a 19-year-old young woman to come model nude so that I could body paint her. Just to be safe I asked for her ID, and quickly found myself in a mad world of denial.
I live in Utah, land of the self-declared morally righteous. And this is my rant to those who want to come into my house, expecting me to live life by their standards.
A special hell is coming my way, and there's not a thing I can do to avoid it. I don't apologize in advance for making you picture any of this. If I have to... You have to.
There was a lot of mystery surrounding the guy living in the apartment above me. But now I can say, with near certainty, that the dude has a firehose hanging between his legs.