I guess now that summer is over, I should get back to work and actually write some stuff, huh?

Friends, I’m just gonna say it. I’ve got a stage-four clinger in my life, and I’m not so sure how I should handle it, since I can’t just breakup or move on like I usually would.

Yep. I’ve had this clinger in my life for a couple months now, and the cling-level is pretty bad.

Every time I walk in my front door, he’s there. Waiting.


If I rest my book down, his face is right there behind it. Always.

If I look up from the toilet, I make awkward eye contact with him. Always.

If I have a date or a friend over, he’s hovering over us. Always.

If I go for a walk in the city, he’s making sure everyone knows that I’m taken. Always.

I can’t go to the fridge without him breathing down my neck, making sure that he always knows what I’m grabbing.

I can’t watch my favorite TV show without him demanding I pay more attention to him than I am.

I can’t read a text message without him looking over my shoulder.

I can’t answer emails without him somehow always there.

Private phone calls? Forget about it. He listens-in on everything.

A lazy lounge in my bed? Yeah, right. There’s no privacy in my bedroom.

He watches me in the shower.

He watches me in the car.

He watches me while I eat.

He watches me get dressed.

He watches me while I’m working.

And whenever I finally do take a break and give all my attention to him, it’s never enough. Ever. He wants every damned second for himself, morning, noon, and night.

So, all my peeps who also have stage-four clingers in your life… Is there any way for me to politely ask him to back the hell off for just like… Five minutes? Two minutes? 40-Seconds?

Personal bubbles, Yeti. Personal bubbles.

Also, you’re not a lap dog. I’m sorry if I gave you mixed signals about that.

Dan Pearce | The Dan Pearce Blog