This is the Dan Pearce Life

Well, Universe… That Was Certainly Fucked-Up

Girls don't flirt with me in real life. Not like this one was. It was super cute and actually going somewhere, but before it actually could... The universe stepped in and made sure it could never be.

And *That* Was the Horrible Moment When I Just Knew…

I hired a 19-year-old young woman to come model nude so that I could body paint her. Just to be safe I asked for her ID, and quickly found myself in a mad world of denial.

Don’t Come to MY Home and Expect Me to Live YOUR Morals

I live in Utah, land of the self-declared morally righteous. And this is my rant to those who want to come into my house, expecting me to live life by their standards.

Seems I’ve Got a Stage-Four Clinger In My Life

I've got a stage-four clinger in my life, and I'm not so sure how I should handle it, since I can't just breakup or move on like I usually would.

Let Me Just Stop You Right There…

Why do people do that?
This post started with me letting you in on a little secret. It ended with a long-overdue rant about the ways women in the dating world go out of their way to make me feel *so* special.

A Shrinker Overthinker

Dan Pearce urology camera
It's done. I survived. And now I will write to make myself feel better about the monstrosity that threatened my manhood, inside and out.

I Think I’m Gonna Need a Stent Double…

stent-removal-funny-dan-pearce-blog
A special hell is coming my way, and there's not a thing I can do to avoid it. I don't apologize in advance for making you picture any of this. If I have to... You have to.

A Goddamn Firehose Betwixt His Hanxious Legs

firehose-prostate-getting-old-sit-down-pee-man
There was a lot of mystery surrounding the guy living in the apartment above me. But now I can say, with near certainty, that the dude has a firehose hanging between his legs.

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Well, Universe… That Was Certainly Fucked-Up

Girls don't flirt with me in real life. Not like this one was. It was super cute and actually going somewhere, but before it actually could... The universe stepped in and made sure it could never be.

And *That* Was the Horrible Moment When I Just Knew…

I hired a 19-year-old young woman to come model nude so that I could body paint her. Just to be safe I asked for her ID, and quickly found myself in a mad world of denial.

Don’t Come to MY Home and Expect Me to Live YOUR Morals

I live in Utah, land of the self-declared morally righteous. And this is my rant to those who want to come into my house, expecting me to live life by their standards.

Well, Fuck You. I’ll Use a Period In My Texts If I So Desire.

Apparently there's a big movement trying to prove that people who use periods in their text messages are assholes. Well, this blogger ain't buying.

It Would Appear I Am an Underwear Snob

Beautiful woman. Check. Invitation up to her apartment. Check. Me making it awkward because of a weird underwear situation... Check.

I’m So NOT Miserable

I got drunk. And depressed. I wrote a blog post while in the thick of it. Well, I think I better write this as a follow-up before the world thinks I'm stuck in some eternal depressive hell.