Girls don't flirt with me in real life. Not like this one was. It was super cute and actually going somewhere, but before it actually could... The universe stepped in and made sure it could never be.
It's done. I survived. And now I will write to make myself feel better about the monstrosity that threatened my manhood, inside and out.
There was a lot of mystery surrounding the guy living in the apartment above me. But now I can say, with near certainty, that the dude has a firehose hanging between his legs.